The Night Jesus Re-Labeled Me

Why I’m Done Watering Down My Voice

*The truth is, I didn’t expect a spiritual breakthrough while standing in the shower after a joint, a glass of wine, and a cold night by the fire. But that’s the thing about God — He shows up in the places religion told me He wouldn’t.

I had this sudden, almost jarring thought:

“What would ChatGPT label me?”

Which sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, but it was the reflection of something deeper — a lifetime of asking the world to tell me who I was.

I’ve asked Christians.
I’ve asked friends.
I’ve asked family.
I’ve asked my past.
I’ve asked my trauma.
I’ve asked strangers online.

And somewhere in the noise of everyone else’s opinions, I forgot to ask the only One whose voice actually matters.

Jesus.
What do You call me?
Who do You say I am?
What label do You put on me?

And instantly, this truth hit my chest:

Jesus would never label me messy.
Never label me too much.
Never label me unqualified.
Never label me “not Christian enough.”

He calls me His.
He calls me chosen, called, bold, raw, honest, and deeply loved.

And that was the moment the chain snapped.

I realized I had been watering myself down to fit into circles that weren’t designed for me.
I’d been trying to “sound” like a Christian woman instead of sounding like me, a woman who loves Jesus and still speaks like someone who has lived in the real world.

A woman who cusses sometimes.
A woman who drinks wine.
A woman who smokes a little weed by the fire with her husband.
A woman who’s survived things.
A woman who’s healing every single day.
A woman who refuses to pretend anymore.

And here’s the part that finally set me free:

The women God is calling me to reach? They’re just like me.
They’re not sitting in perfect pews wearing perfect smiles.
They’re standing in the middle of real life, trying to find Jesus in the mess.

I am not here to fit in.
I am here to stand out — for His purpose.
For the women like me.
For the ones who never felt seen in church.
For the ones who thought they had to change their personality to follow Him.

I’m done shrinking.
I’m done hiding.
I’m done sanitizing my story.

Jesus can handle who I really am.
And I’m finally choosing to show up as the woman He actually named me.