Learning the Words That Are Reshaping Me

Lately I’ve been sitting with a few words that keep popping up in my time with God — words I honestly never paid much attention to before.

Abide.
Steward.
Obedience.
Disciple.

They felt “churchy,” like vocabulary for people who grew up in pews and knew the Bible frontwards and backwards.

But now?
I’m starting to ask Him,
“What do these words actually mean for me? For my life, my motherhood, my marriage, my calling? What does it look like to live these out when I'm still learning everything from scratch?”

So I’ve been getting curious.
Not as a student checking boxes.
But as a daughter trying to understand her Father.

And here’s what I’m discovering:

ABIDING — What does it actually mean to stay?

Abiding used to sound like “sit still and be holy.”
Honestly? I didn’t have time for that.

But lately I’m realizing abiding isn’t about sitting perfectly still.
It’s about staying connected.

It’s me saying,
“God, I’m not leaving You just because life feels heavy today.”
It’s bringing Him into my mess, my workouts, my thoughts, my motherhood, my doubts, my scroll, my mornings, my anxiety — instead of only letting Him in when I feel put together.

Abiding is less about what I do
and more about who I refuse to walk away from.

It’s me choosing Him every day…
and letting Him choose me right back.

STEWARDSHIP — What am I doing with what He gave me?

This one hit different.

Stewardship isn’t about being “perfectly responsible.”
It’s about realizing nothing in my life is random or disposable —
my kids, my time, my story, my healing, my home, my body, my gifts…
they were trusted to me.

Trusted.
Not dumped.
Not assigned.
trusted.

And I’m starting to ask:

“How can I take what God placed in my hands and treat it like it matters?”

Not in a pressured way —
but in a purpose way.

This isn’t hustle.
It’s honor.

OBEDIENCE — The word I avoided because it felt like control

But obedience with God isn’t control —
it’s alignment.

It’s leaning in when He nudges me.
It’s obeying because I trust His heart, not because I’m scared of Him.
It’s doing the little things He asks…
even when they don’t make sense yet.

Sometimes obedience looks like stopping something.
Sometimes it looks like starting something.
Sometimes it's saying yes.
Sometimes it’s saying no.
Sometimes it’s shutting my mouth.
Sometimes it’s speaking up.

I’m learning obedience doesn’t box me in.
It actually frees me.

It pulls me out of my own way.

DISCIPLE — What does it mean to become a student again?

This one felt big.
Like, “Woah, I’m not qualified to be anybody’s disciple.”

But the truth?
A disciple is just someone willing to learn.

Someone who wants to walk close to Jesus.
Someone who lets their life be shaped — slowly, painfully, beautifully —
by the One they’re following.

Being a disciple doesn’t mean I know everything.
It means I want Him more than I want my old ways.

It means I’m teachable.
It means I’m growing.
It means I’m in motion.

And honestly…
that's exactly where I am.

So what do all these words have in common?

They’re not rules.
They’re invitations.

Invitations to be closer, softer, steadier,
more aligned, more surrendered, more awake.

Invitations to walk with God,
not perform for Him.

Invitations to rebuild my life on something real,
not noise or hustle or fear.

These words used to intimidate me.
Now they intrigue me.

Because I can feel God using them
to shape the woman I’m becoming.

Slowly…
quietly…
deeply.

And if I’m honest?

I want more of that.